the balance between trusting your own intuition and listening to advice
Here’s the thing: Everyone’s self love journey can look different.
Which okay, that’s obvious. BUT I feel like sometimes I need a reminder that certain healthy practices for someone else isn’t a healthy practice for me. Sometimes you have to rely on trusting your intuition and leaning into your gut instinct.
I know myself better than anyone knows me. The good, the bad, the ugly. If I need to, I know how to hide how badly I’m doing so others can’t see. If I need to, I know how to show off how well I’m doing for others to see the progress. The advice someone can give you, based on the snippet of what they get to see in your life, isn’t always the best advice for you because you know your truest self all 24 hours of the day.
When it comes to mental health and self love, there’s a certain level of responsibility you have to give yourself to be honest about your progress and emotions, while following your instincts to lead you to getting help or knowing yourself what the best thing is for you.
when to listen to advice vs trusting your own mind
I love when my friends give me advice. It always comes from a place of love and/or worry, so I know they have my best interest at heart. Most of the time, it’s advice I needed to hear. But there are times when I’m left questioning everything. I’ll always be a fan of brutal honesty, but sometimes that honesty is scary. Sometimes I’m not ready to hear it or make the changes I know will be beneficial for me.
It’s important to do some critical thinking when you receive advice. And two things can be true at the same time: you can love yourself enough to trust your mind and opinions when it comes to your struggles or troubles AND you can love yourself enough to listen and lean on others who can offer help when it comes to your struggles or troubles. But let’s dive further into that.
examples of self love
trusting yourself
knowing when to follow your own intuition
not always seeking validation from others
other examples of self love
leaning on others for help when you need it
opening up to family and friends about your life
surrounding yourself around people who want the best for you
I think it’s about striking a balance and becoming self aware to when and how you incorporate certain pieces of advice in your life.
I used to be so dependent on everyone’s advice and what everyone thought about me and constantly needing advice and unspoken approval before I did a lot of things. Now I think I’ve perfected asking and being open to advice and commentary without always doing what people suggest. I incorporate it into what I’m already thinking.
I’ll admit I have some work to do when it comes to this though. But there’s power in doing both and knowing how to balance advice and intuition.
what is intuition
intuition: an ability to understand or know something immediately based on your feelings rather than facts
Many scientists view a dual-process theory when it comes to intuition, which they refer to as “decision-making processes split between intuitive (experiential or tacit) and analytical (rational or deliberate),” according to Positive Psychology.
“In Blink: The Power of Thinking Without Thinking, Malcolm Gladwell (2005) describes the two different approaches as blinking, when intuition is used, and thinking, when an analysis is performed,” they said.
So blinking vs thinking? While thinking is very important (obvs), blinking is natural and something we do all the time every day. You have to be able to trust your decision making and know that you’re capable of “blinking” well in every day situations.
how to trust your intuition
When it comes to the ability to trust your instincts, you have to work on and increase your self awareness, start being proud of your decisions and do some critical thinking when you receive advice. It is possible and important to believe in your intuition, and I’ll dive deeper into the different ways to get better at that.
tips to strengthen your intuition
There are certain things you can do to strengthen your intuition and develop into something you can rely on without always needing to gain advice and seek others’ approval and validation.
Be proud of your decisions: Sometimes we make mistakes and sometimes we’re not proud of the decisions we make. If we stay in this bubble of not being proud of our decision making, we create doubts about how much we can trust ourselves.
A way to strengthen your intuition is to start making better decisions that you can be proud of. If you purposefully ignore your thoughts or warning signs when it comes to a situation, it makes it harder for you to be able to do the right thing.
Do some critical thinking when you receive advice: As I said before, it’s important to think critically when getting other people’s opinions. Trust yourself to listen and lean on others who offer help and advice when it comes to your struggles or troubles.
But also trust yourself to tune out things that don’t align with you and lean on knowing your own mind and opinions.
Work on and increase your self awareness: The importance of self awareness is that it teaches you to be more confident in your decision making, gives you leadership and control in your own life and allows you to move through life more freely, knowing exactly who you are.
Half the battle when it comes to becoming self aware is trusting yourself and your feelings. If you don’t trust how you feel, then how do you grow as a person?
read more: becoming more self aware
