why is mental health so hard to talk about?
I’m trying to think of how I want to start this post -- my uncle who just unalived himself over the weekend, my mom who’s mad at me because I told her last week that she may benefit from going to a psychiatric hospital, or myself who just had to cancel my evaluation appointment with a psychiatrist because they don’t take my insurance and I can’t afford $200.
Mental health just feels so nuanced and extremely difficult to talk about. It’s something so many people struggle with, but why do I feel embarrassed and frightened that someone will look at me differently if I tell them what goes on in my head and how miserable I feel some days?
And I don’t know how to help. I want others to feel okay. I want others to be more mentally stable than I am. I want better for everyone around me because I just can’t imagine my family and friends having to go through intense battles with their minds. No one should. But I also understand the importance of getting my own help.
So I pose the question: how do you accept and help others through mental health struggles while also struggling yourself?
Talk about your own experiences? Finding out my baby sister was struggling with mental health struck me so hard. That’s my baby, and I don’t want her to ever, ever hurt. I wanted to approach the situation by discussing my own struggles with mental health. I told her what I heard and then explained that it was okay and unfortunately something that I can relate to on a certain scale. She didn’t talk but she listened.
Although you may not have all the answers, offering your own experiences may be more helpful than you realize. But make sure to let them have the floor and don’t take over the conversation. Try to be open to their thoughts and feelings even if you don’t agree.
I think there’s also a problem in our society and culture where we sometimes think of mental health as something quirky and use phrases like “ugh I’m so depressed” or “haha I’m feeling so manic” lightly. Like no babes, this is serious. These are intense things that people are going through, and it’s not something to make you look “cool” or to get attention. My mind keeps going back to this one TikTok of someone explaining this phenomenon.
I think it can be hard for me to dive deeper into why I’m feeling a certain way or how serious what’s going on is. Maybe it stems from not wanting people to feel bad for me because I can’t stand the constant check ins or random calls. If I’m going through a “depressive episode” or feeling all over the place (I clearly haven’t nailed down what’s going on with me and it’s been over 5 years ahhh), I truly need to be alone.
I can’t talk about it. I can’t explain how I feel or I’ll cry or shut down (depending on the situation.) If I’m feeling depressed, I can barely get out of bed or take a shower unless I’m going to work, let alone answer your calls and try to convince you I’m fine.
The convincing. “I’m fine,” I say deadpanned. “No really. I’m okay,” I try to be a little more convincing. Believe me, haha, please because I can’t deal with the looks of worry or the blaming themselves. I’m well in my twenties, no one is responsible for me other than myself. A sad thought in my lonely moments, but reassuring that I’m not “bothering” anyone with my mental health lows.
I suppose I’ll have to figure out how to open up when (if) I’m in a relationship, and I really should make myself figure out more healthy ways of talking or processing my feelings and emotions.
But it’s just so damn hard talking about mental health.
It’s so hard to talk about mental health because it feels like no one gets how you’re feeling, and you fear they may judge, belittle, or try to fix you. They may try to come up with solutions, whether it’s medication, therapy, life changes, more self love, etc. But maybe all you need is someone to listen to how shitty you feel without asking questions. Maybe all you need is someone to tell you they’re there for you, even if you never end up needing them.
Mental health emergency resources:
suicide & crisis lifeline: call or text 988
maternal mental health: call or text 1-833-TLC-MAMA (833-852-6262)
disaster distress helpline: call or text 1-800-985-5990.
in life-threatening situations, call 911 or go to the nearest emergency room
Take care & I love you all.
