becoming more self aware.
Becoming more self aware is a practice that takes time. I feel as though I become increasingly more self aware through every situation or interaction that made me feel as though I should have acted differently, or I should have stood up for myself more, or I think to myself that I never want to be in that position again.
Don’t expect yourself to automatically know everything about yourself. Life is about going through experiences and deciding what you like and don’t like, and what you want to change and what you want to do more of and grow.
If I knew what I knew now about myself, my life would be completely different. But then again, isn’t that boring? Mistakes are how you grow. If you want to be more self aware, don’t be afraid to make mistakes. Don’t self-destruct and make mistakes on purpose or for the plot (unless it’s a really good one.) But don’t be scared of them or beat yourself up for them.
I’ve fallen for a man that didn’t want me and continued to stay in a situationship even though I wanted more. A mistake! But now I know that I can never stay with someone who doesn’t want me.
I’m more self aware that I can’t handle those lingering feelings of rejection and know that I can’t deal with someone who doesn’t know how to communicate and gives false signs of hope. And I know the signs and know the buzz words that lead me to know that I might be going down that path. But I had to go through that mistake to understand this for myself. Self awareness :)
Though you can go through a mistake, that doesn’t always lead to self awareness. You have to reflect and learn from your mistakes. Think about what went wrong. Think about what you didn’t like. Really take the time to reflect and understand why you don’t want to make this mistake again.
You can continue to make mistakes over and over again. But self awareness really kicks in when you decide that you don’t want it to continue or you don’t want to make the same mistake again.
Trust your feelings. Your feelings are valid. If you feel some type of way about someone saying something to you that you didn’t like or a situation that you’re not fond of. Trust your feelings. They’re not lying to you. If you felt an uncomfortable feeling, then there’s a reason it didn’t feel right, and it’s important not to ignore it.
Half the battle when it comes to becoming self aware is trusting yourself and your feelings. If you don’t trust how you feel, then how do you grow as a person? I’m honestly really bad about believing what I feel. Often, I’ll gaslight myself or say it’s not a big deal to something, which is honestly doing myself a disservice.
The more honest I am with how I’m feeling in the moment and what I do or don’t like, or my feelings in general, the easier it becomes for me to identify and make aware of things that are important for me to be self aware of.
One of the hardest parts (for me at least!) to the process of achieving self awareness is validation and where it comes from. Don’t rely on validation from others. This is the one I struggle with the most. It causes me the most trouble and the one I have to constantly work on.
Whether it’s getting my friends “approval” when choosing pictures to post on instagram or asking what I should say to respond to someone in a text. Whether it’s asking my bosses for feedback on every little thing at work or asking a boy for constant reassurance that he still likes me.
Validation from others is something that feels good but can lead to feelings of needing others to confirm things that you feel yourself.
Being self aware of your initial thoughts or opinions on something is key. And more than just knowing how you feel on a topic, you have to stand on your thoughts and trust them. It’s completely okay to have validation from others, but it’s important not to rely on it.
- S
